unabsorbing

some people say after we die, we become absorbed into the air, one with the ocean, united with the galaxies, ceasing to exist as individual.

what about when we’re living? can we unabsorb?

the family I was born into, my universe, my ocean, my orbit.

how do I explain that I was forty years old the first time I understood I was a separate entity? surrounded by evergreens, walking a labyrinth in cold spring.

at the end of the path I sat on a stone bench and wept. with sorrow, yes. but also, relief.